I'm not Madonna

Madonna is a pain in my ass.
Right now I'm going to work, writing on the way. Couldn't even wait to get there, cause I got A LOT to do on that place.
And I got A LOT to work on myself.
Madonna is a pain in everybody's asses. People want to transform every pop singer into a Madonna. And ironicly, right now, I've got her face on my shirt. Cause I was always the best student.

Since I started following her steps, it seriously feels like I've been doing classes. She's got method. I read every single biography, watched every single interview, television performances, concerts, movies, kabbalah books. She's got a lot to teach and I was always interested in learning.

But right now, I'm on a moment in my life where I just want to be me, to find the performer inside me. But her fans invited me to sing her new single on the official release of her album. And of course, I would never reject an oppotunity like that.

So they hired dancers. Professional fucking incredible dancers. And I had one rehearsel to learn their steps and do it exactly like them.

I barely slept last night. I look like I went to a fucking war on a monday morning. And somehow I did. Had a fight with myself to find me inside of her, or to find her inside of me. To sing her goddam song without trying to be her. Even though their fans are seriously hoping I put on my best Madonna mask.

I've got four days to find the song inside of me, to understand my personality and adapt it to their steps and her moves, without trying to sound or look like her. It's a huge challenge. And I'm going crazy about it. Excited, not exactly afraid, but worried. I'm worried people notice I'm far behind the dancers and far behind a good vocal performance. I'm afraid I don't have star quality, something that catches the audience, "cruel ambition with no talent".